Join us for our third Lights for Love Memorial Event on Oct. 28, 2023 at Cosmo-Bethel Park. This beautiful evening is an opportunity to honor and remember someone you love while giving back to those in hospice care in our community.
Luminaries will be available for purchase now and at check-in the day of the event. All proceeds will be used to support our home in Columbia for those who are under hospice care, in the last 30 days of life, and in need of caregiver support.
Caring Hearts and Hands of Columbia (CHHC) is only possible through the help of dedicated volunteers. It takes a special, passionate team to keep everything running and provide the best care for their guests. One such volunteer, Linda Antal, brings helpful experience from her work at Boone Hospital and empathy learned from her parents to both write policies and serve as a Caretaker Volunteer.
How did you get involved with Caring Hearts and Hands?
I got involved with CHHC through my association with Jackie Reed and Dorreen Rardin. I worked with both of them at Boone Hospital, and Dorreen recruited me to help.
What work do you do with them?
My first project was volunteering at Lights for Love several years ago. After becoming a member of the Operations Committee, I volunteered to write the policies and procedures for CHHC. In a weird way, I like writing policies and developing forms that support the processes that need to be followed. I used samples from other hospice houses as a starting point, made them our own and then presented them to the Board for approval. Since orientation involves education about the policies and forms to be used at CHHC, I also wrote the orientation manuals used for the caregiver and house volunteer classes. I continue to tweak the policies and forms to make them work better for us, but now I am also a caretaker volunteer.
What draws you to the organization’s mission?
I have had several family members who were on hospice before they passed away—most specially, my husband and mother. I experienced first-hand the comfort and caring hospice can provide. After retiring, I wanted to give back and thought I’d like to be involved volunteering for one of the local hospice agencies. CHHC came along instead!
What experience do you have outside of CHHC and how does that help your work there?
I am a registered nurse and retired from Boone Hospital after working there for 39 years. I spent the last 25 years of my career working in leadership positions where one of my responsibilities was maintaining the policies and procedures for nursing. This prepared me well for my work at CHHC!
What do you do for fun/to destress?
Doing something creative is my best way to destress. I like all forms of needle arts (knitting, crocheting, embroidery, etc.), making junk journals and working in our flower beds. I also became a Master Naturalist last year and am enjoying volunteering in parks and outdoor spaces to spread native plants and knowledge about our ecosystem and the importance of preserving it!
Can you tell us more about your family / where you’re from?
I grew up in Hermann, MO with seven brothers. My mom and dad handed down a strong work ethic and taught all of us kindness, the importance of taking care of our earth, and empathy and compassion for others. I now live in Ashland with my daughter, her husband and two grandchildren – Emma (14) and Lucy (10). I am so lucky to be able to see my grandchildren every day and be part of their lives.
What is the most rewarding thing about CHHC?
I find the care of our guests the most rewarding aspect of my involvement with CHHC. I was not at the bedside for the last several years of my nursing career and feel so fortunate to be able to provide hands-on care again. Dying is a sacred time in the lives of our guests, and I am privileged to be a part of it.
Caring Hearts and Hands of Columbia was privileged to be part of the life of one of its first guests, David Potts. Volunteers were able to provide the care he and his family needed in his final days. David stayed at the home for 11 days and passed away on his 12th. His wife, Janet, and his two sons, Mike and Greg, were all able to be with him in that time.
“We just felt like he got wonderful care,” Janet shared, “We were just so thrilled to be able to get the services offered.”
After David fell and went to the hospital, the social worker started talking about nursing homes, but he was adamant that he did not want to go to one. So the social worker told the family about Caring Hearts and Hands.
“We’d never heard of it. And my husband said, ‘That’s where I’d like to go,'” Janet explained. “The timing was just perfect. It was just absolutely the most wonderful thing that could have happened.”
Mike and Greg both came in from out of state and were able to stay with their parents.
The Help of Volunteer Caregivers
The family felt that the volunteers at the home went above and beyond. When David wanted a certain meal, whether that be shrimp, ribs or a McDonald’s sausage biscuit, they would go right out and get it. David developed a good relationship with one of his evening caretakers and had several deep conversations. Another caretaker brought Janet flowers, candies and a card for Mother’s Day, and helped David sign the card and make her a video.
“She really didn’t have to do that, but it was nice of her,” Janet said. “She gave the card to him and he signed it. And then he did a video of saying that I know you’re not my mother, but Happy Mother’s Day and that you’ve done a good job being a mother to our two sons. It’s very touching.”
Paying It Forward
After their experience in our home, Janet, Mike and Greg all made donations to Caring Hearts and Hands so that the home could serve our next guest with the same level of attention and care.
“My husband just thought that it was the perfect place for him. He needed to be there, and he was happy to to be there.”
Janet Potts
Our home seeks to do more than just provide a comfortable place and provide for guests and their families physically, because emotional and spiritual needs must be met with the same compassion and love. We are happy that we could offer a safe, warm and loving environment to David, Janet, Mike and Greg.
“I got a lot of hugs,” Janet said. “Those volunteers give good hugs.”
Caring Hearts and Hands operates fully through the help of volunteers like Jan Asbury, who serves on the Operations Committee and works passionately to bring as much peace as she can to end-of-life guests.
How did you first hear about Caring Hearts and Hands?
I heard about CHHC from Dorreen Rardin, who told me about the plans for the house and asked if I was interested in volunteering.
How long have you been involved with CHHC?
I’ve been on CHHC’s Operations Committee for about a year.
What draws you to the organization’s mission?
I have said for years I felt this area needed a hospice house. After learning about CHHC, I loved the idea of opening a social model end-of-life home instead. A home where one can spend their last days in a loving, respectful, caring environment that can meet their physical, spiritual and emotional needs with their loved ones at their side. The fact that this care will be free of charge is just icing on the cake!
When you talk to others about CHHC, what resonates with them?
When I speak with others about CHHC, I get very positive responses. I get the feeling that they see the need for such a home in Columbia and are pleased that one will be opening soon.
Where are you from?
I was born in Ohio and lived in Indiana and Alabama before moving to Hallsville when I was eight. I currently live in Fayette.
Tell us about your family and/or those closest in your life.
I have been married to my husband, Doug, for 35 years. I have two children and their spouses and two grandchildren, who I absolutely adore and love.
What do you hope to accomplish as a volunteer?
My goal is to provide a peaceful caring environment for the guests and their families. I hope to be a blessing to those I encounter and make a positive difference during a difficult time. I look forward to the blessings I will take away, too.
Starting and operating a home like Caring Hearts and Hands is not possible without volunteers. Both the guests and the home need help, so a volunteer’s responsibilities may include:
Personal caregiving
Cooking
Housekeeping
Maintaining the yard and home
Running errands
Grocery shopping
Working in the office
Fundraising
Communicating, and more.
Regardless of your previous experience or training, we need YOU. To learn more about how to volunteer today, you can:
In February of 2018, Sandy Hughes of Joplin, Missouri lost her husband to cancer, sending her on a path to create a space there for a “peaceful transition from life to death.” She co-founded Solace House, a non-profit social-model home for end-of-life care. After five years of struggles and successes, Sandy is now providing encouragement and insight for the Columbia team behind Caring Hearts and Hands while still working tirelessly in Joplin to care for guests and their family members.
“I was dealing with grief from the loss of my husband, and that gave me much purpose to help start an end-of-life care home,” Sandy said. “And because of that, that starting gate, it became cathartic to me. It helped ease my grief by making sure that other people had a place to go to, because I did not. Solace House is a community of hearts. And those volunteers that come are so dedicated. They just love it. They just love what they do. Caring Hearts and Hands, it’s going to be very successful, I assure you.”
Both Solace House of the Ozarks and Caring Hearts and Hands of Columbia are part of the Omega Home Network, which provides assistance to developing and operating social-model homes across the country.
Sandy visited Columbia on March 14 for a question and answer session to help share the knowledge she and her team have earned over the past several years.
“There’s no reason for reinventing the wheel, especially if we’re going to be helping a sister city,” Sandy said. “Columbia is special. And those individuals that were there that night that I got to meet are very sincere and very passionate about what they’re trying to do. And we cheer them on; we want them to be successful.”
“Columbia is special. And those individuals that were there that night that I got to meet are very sincere and very passionate about what they’re trying to do. And we cheer them on; we want them to be successful.”
Sandy Hughes
Solace House began as Sandy gathered others in Joplin with a similar heart, as well as her husband’s oncologist, doctors, nurses, social workers and hospice providers. Within a year, the organization became an official non-profit, and by January of 2020 Sandy signed a lease for a house. They started turning this house into the perfect end-of-life home when COVID hit.
Though the pandemic certainly set them back, it also highlighted an even more intense need for a place like Solace House. With state safety guidelines, families were not allowed into nursing homes or hospitals to visit their dying loved ones. Good-byes were said through windows and phone calls. Many died alone.
So when Solace House finally opened in June of 2020, they were able to provide relief and comfort to many families. They allowed loved ones to visit and stay with their guests within the home – after COVID testing and with masks, of course.
“It was just an answered prayer for a lot of people,” Sandy said. “The timing was just incredible. Now, with that behind us, it’s been full throttle.”
The organization and others like it provide a free home for guests in their last month of life whose care needs cannot be met in their own homes, giving 24-hour support from volunteers for guests’ physical, emotional and spiritual needs. They do not replace medical care, but instead give a space for families to be around their departing loved ones in a caring and supportive environment.
“Oftentimes, when a guest comes to the house, they are exhausted from being in the hospital,” Sandy said. “When they come through those front doors, it’s as if a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. I have seen it over and over again. Solace House, it is truly transformational. I just can’t explain it any more than that. It’s just they know why we’re there. And we know why they’re there. And it’s just a matter of showing up at the house.”
With two beds in each bedroom, families are welcome to stay around the clock, doing laundry, showering, cooking and doing whatever else there, truly treating it as if they are in their own home.
“It’s not just taking care of the guest,” Sandy expressed. “I have found in the past year that we are really actually caring equally, if not more, for the family members. They are heartsick that they’re going to lose their loved one. And I find that we are picking up the pieces. I said that at the meeting in Columbia, just to be there for a loved one with some hand holding some hugging. It’s just so important. And I cannot emphasize that enough. In many respects, we’ll spend almost the equivalent with the family if not more than with our guest. And the guest is our focus. They’re inseparable.”
Now, Columbia can benefit from the lessons learned by Solace House and can find comfort in the established community of Omega Home Network.
From her experience, Sandy expects that Caring Hearts and Hands will face their biggest challenge in finding volunteers.
“Everything else is easy. It’s just finding the volunteers who have a heart for the mission. Once they come on board, and they have the experience, it’s easy. Our volunteers who have been trained have never left. They love what they do. But finding the volunteers, that’s the biggest challenge that they’re going to have.”
Looking forward, Sandy has high hopes as more areas recognize the need for spaces like Solace House and Caring Hearts and Hands. She recognizes the passionate and sincere hearts within this starting group.
“Once they start, they’re never going to look back,” she said. “Because it’s just going to keep going and going and going. And there’s going to be more houses like this in Missouri and across the nation. I’m just so excited for Columbia. There’s going to be a few hiccups along the way, some things that they didn’t plan for. But once they get that core group of volunteers trained, then they’re off and running. That’s all it’s gonna take.”
How did you first hear about Caring Hearts and Hands of Columbia?
I first heard about CHHC through my work at New Chapter Coaching. I met with co-founder Doreen Rardin to see how we could be of service. After better understanding their needs and learning about the organization, mission, and their Board of Directors, I was hooked!
What draws you to the organization’s mission?
I am a board-certified music therapist and have a history of working with adults in hospice, senior living facilities, and hospitals. I’ve also had multiple experiences with loved ones at the end of their lives. With these experiences, I have a huge passion for helping those at end-of-life and making it as pleasant of an experience as possible.
When you talk to others about CHHC, what resonates with others?
We all experience this and most likely experience it with a family member or close friend. It is something everyone has in common. I believe we all can understand how important it is and how necessary it is to have an organization that is intentionally working to improve the end-of-life experience for all people despite income and ability.
What do you do? You’re a coach — but what kinds of things do you do?
I am a nonprofit consultant. I work with nonprofit organizations to develop a plan for their future that will leverage their strengths and result in maximum impact for the people they serve. I also work closely with teams and individuals to strengthen their culture, cultivate trust, improve employee engagement, integrate a strengths-based approach, and more.
Where are you from?
I am originally from Minnesota and have a slight northern accent to prove it if you listen closely. I was raised in Independence, MO, and received my undergraduate degree at Drury University. We currently live in Columbia, MO, and I am pursuing an MBA.
Tell me about your family.
After seven years together, I married my high school sweetheart, Eric Swanson, in June of 2019. We met in music and theatre, both of which remain important parts of our lives. We live with our very spoiled dogs: Bagel the Beagle and Stella our seven-pound guard dog. We are close with our families who mostly all live in Independence, MO.
According to an article written by Dr. Karen Wyatt, a hospice and family physician, there are six reasons why the social model home hospice home is a much-needed solution for end-of-life care. Wyatt, an expert on the topic of end-of-life care, has written a book on the subject: “What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying.”
According to a study reported by AARP Public Policy Institute, there will be a severe shortage of family caregivers as the Baby Boom generation ages and faces the end-of-life. While there are currently seven potential family caregivers for every patient, this ratio is expected to drop to 3:1 by 2050.
2. Shortage of paid caregivers.
In addition, a study published in the Health Affairs journal in June indicates that “at least 2.5 million more long-term care workers will be needed to look after older Americans by 2030.”
3. Need for family respite.
The Institute of Medicine’s 2014 report Dying in America points to a current need for respite and support for family caregivers to help avoid burnout and resulting emergency hospitalizations. Social model hospice homes can provide respite care as well as terminal care, allowing for much-needed rest for exhausted caregivers.
4. Need for home renovation for safety and mobility.
The IOM report “Dying in America” also cites a “lack of publicly-funded programs for retrofitting homes for safety features and wheelchair accessibility. Social model hospice homes are already designed to meet safety and mobility standards and can eliminate the need for expensive renovations to family homes.”
5. Cultural barriers to hospice care.
Some of these barriers include a lack of cultural diversity in hospice staff, mistrust of the healthcare system, and worry about insurance coverage and cost of care. The community-based social model hospice home has the potential to overcome some of these barriers by utilizing volunteers and caregivers from the patient’s own cultural group and neighborhood, by functioning largely outside the health care system, and by eliminating financial concerns through unique funding streams.
6. Reduction in Medicare payments for hospice and home care.
Under the social model of care for the dying, there is no federal or state funding because these homes do not function as medical facilities. In many states, they are licensed under the Department of Social Services rather than the Department of Health. Social model hospice homes rely on foundations and grants, community fundraising, and contributions from individual donors for funding.
Dr. Mark Tungesvik, an oncologist with Missouri Cancer Associates, is no stranger to end-of-life care.
According to Tungesvik, oncology is one of the biggest referrers to palliative care where founders, Dorreen Rardin and Jackie Reed worked. He sees the need for Caring Hearts and Hands in our community.
“We will be treating people who are older and living alone. It’s not optimal, and as they get sicker, you’re in a pickle. For some, there’s not a lot of social support, and hospice can’t assist if the patient is alone. There are nursing homes, but that isn’t optimal. It could be a warm, loving place, but many patients don’t see it that way. I do think this is an unmet need.”
“There isn’t much small talk in the office,” Tungesvik says. “Once cancer patients have a diagnosis, their life changes. If it’s terminal, their perspective on life changes. And we form a real relationship. Working with the patients is the best part. That’s what I like, and that’s why I do it.”
But Tungesvik doesn’t stop at medical cancer treatments. He’s also nearing the end of a seven-year project, writing a trilogy of therapeutic fiction. This three-book series is meant to help those struggling more than just physically.
“Some people will have developed a dark worldview, and it’s hard to work out of that. So, I put together this series. It’s not just about providing for a person’s physical needs. They have to turn the corner emotionally and intellectually so they can have some hope. These books are about doing that.”
“I’ve been writing the Song of the Bear trilogy for nearly seven years, but I’m coming to the end of it. I’m going over what may be the final draft. I’ll be sending to a self-publisher soon.”
With donor support, we can light up the night at Stephens Lake Park on Nov. 6 as part of its inaugural fundraising event – Lights for Love: A Memorial Event.
This memorial event gives people an opportunity to purchase a luminary to honor their loved one and help raise funds to open a home in Columbia for those who are under hospice care, in the last month of life, and in need of caregiver support.
“We wanted to put together a fundraiser for the community that could be meaningful,” said Jackie Reed, treasurer, and co-founder for Caring Hearts and Hands of Columbia. “This is an opportunity to heal as a community after nearly two years of extremely difficult times for many of us.”
Community members can purchase a luminary to display at Stephens Lake Park on Nov. 6 at 5:30 p.m. Each luminary can be purchased for a minimum donation of $10.
The event will include music and will allow loved ones to spend time with others who have lost loved ones and remember their influence in our lives.
